you are more

Beauty. The earth is filled with beauty. It is seen in every blade of vibrant green grass... it is displayed in the grace of each delicate petal... is is portrayed in the sunsets and sunrises in the streaks of colors painted across the sky... it is seen in the roar of the ocean and the variety of hues streaming onto the beach... it's seen in the majesty of the cliffs standing so high and lofty above the ocean floor... it's seen in the laughter and in the tears of those we encounter. Beauty speaks of a creator, and many times I don't take the time to stop and rest and bask in the beauty that God has created. It is when I do so, that my heart begins to rest and starts to remember who God is... the Creator of all things great and small.... the one who created the heavens and the earth... the sea to go to and fro... who designed each and every living thing with a purpose and plan... I am reminded of how small I am.. of how tiny my problems are in comparison with the amazing power of the One who is Abba... of the One who always fulfills HIs promises... who is always faithful... whose love is never failing... who is the God who sees. It is in these moments that I can lay down what is on my heart and place it at His feet knowing that the same God who created the heavens and the earth is the same One who promises that I do not need to fear.. that He will be my refuge and strength... that He will uphold me... and counsel me and guide me in the way to go... that He delights in me & rejoices over me.. that He calls me His own... I am His.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FhnSdSvgEeg

On the day I called
You answered me
And the hope in my soul increased
I lift my hands
And turn my eyes
To the God who heals my heart
And gives me peace

CHORUS:

You are more than
My words could ever say
You are Lord over all
Over all of my days
I will see this season through
I will fix my eyes on You
Only You
Only You

VERSE 2:

I worship You
And lift You high
God forever let Your name be glorified
I lift my voice
And sing Your name
For you gave Your life to cleanse my sin
And took away my shame

CHORUS:

You are more than
My words could ever say
You are Lord over all
Over all of my days
I will see this season through
I will fix my eyes on You
Only You
Only You

BRIDGE:

Hallelujah
The earth will sing
May Your name be glorified
Hallelujah
The earth will sing
May Your name be glorified

CHORUS:

You are more than
My words could ever say
You are Lord over all
Over all of my days
I will see this season through
I will fix my eyes on You
Only You
Only You

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FhnSdSvgEeg

come. awaken. come.

This morning I woke up with a song playing over and over in my head. It was drawing me to worship the One who is the Creator of all things, beckoning me to come.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YtI0tCPOBLA (one thirst by bethel live)

He is the pursuer of my heart... the One who awakens my heart with a song in the morning, the One who awakens me to rise with the sun so that I can see His beauty reflected in His masterpiece, the One who dances so beautifully with me, the One who reminds me that just as He created the wind and the water, so has He created me. I am His.

always.siempre.forever.por siempre.

A realization occurred to me today as I was watching a hulu show or rather listening to one as I was reading and looking out the window. All of a sudden I just stopped what I was doing, and a flood of emotions came as I remembered... God is, He has always been, He will always be. The God who has been faithful in the past through hard times, through good times, through sad, through joyful ones... will be faithful in the future. I can trust in a God who IS, who WILL BE... who remains a constant in a trial, in a hurricane, in times when I am at my wits end, it times when I struggle, in times when it seems as though nothing is going right, in times when I struggle to believe and hold onto truth.. He is there in the midst of it. I may not see Him. I may not hear Him. BUT, I can trust that He is there.. because that is what He promises.. and He is always faithful to His promises. It does not matter that my situation is hard right now... it may change, it may not change, but God never changes... and through it all, He will be faithful.


Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze. For I am the LORD your God, the Holy One of Israel... Isaiah 43:1b-3a

why?

Do you ever ask yourself why? Why things happen a certain why? Have you ever asked yourself what if or tried to analyze a situation to see what may have happened if you chose door three like a choose your own adventure story. Life doesn't happen that way. I can't go back and say, oh, I was just kidding. I really meant to choose door 2, or upon opening that door and reading a little bit further and deciding that it was not the best option.. again, go back to the beginning and choose the next door.. door 1... and finally, as you read through the script, discover that yes, this is the best option for a variety of reasons.. mainly it provides happiness at the end...is how it was always meant to be in my mind... and possibly love everlasting... in all a good ending for me, for the people I love.. and in the end, good wins over evil.

Sometimes I wish that life was like the choose your own adventure books, where I could skim what may happen and then choose a door. I would be prepared for what may come or happen... I would know the heartache, the loss, the joys, the sorrows, the highs and the lows. Life is so not like that, and how I wish it was, and yet, then I wouldn't be surprised when things happened and I would be in control, not God. Sometimes I can't see His hand, and in this season, I really can't. It's a fight to see it, and a fight to let my heart be broken and give it to Him wondering if in His time can He heal it? I've known loss, but this loss seems like it is buried deep, and as Abba's daughter, I find myself questioning my Creator.. is this really good? Are YOU really good? Because as I look at what I can see, I don't see good. I see broken. I see tears. I see loss. I see mourning. I see grief. I don't see good. I see real raw anguish, and good that has disappeared.

I see the ugliness in myself arise as I compare, as I fear, as I covet that which my friends or family have that I do not. I see its ugly head come out as I question my Abba over and over again and just want to walk the other way and leave it all behind.

But then there is that part of me that still believes, still hopes, still knows that my Abba is the best part of my life... that without Him, I would be hopelessly lost. Without Him, I wouldn't be. He is still the One I desire, the One I want, the One I need... that in the deepest place, I find myself calling out to Him... do not leave me, do not forsake me, do not leave me as I am... for I desperately need YOU ... to know YOU... to hear from YOU... to surrender all of this at your feet knowing that You are good... knowing and believing that what looks like good to me, doesn't to you... knowing that it's ok to move on ... it's ok when you are here with me, beside me.. even when You are silent, even when I'm listening and don't hear Your voice... I'll trust that You are here.

Your Hands

Broken. Lost. Hurt. Pain. Crying. Wondering. Pondering. Confused. Sad. Angry.

On my knees. Hands Open & Empty. Asking. Waiting.

I can't.

He can.

Not understanding.

He does.

Not in control.

Accepting He is.

Wondering why.

Believing He knows.

Trusting He is who He says He is

Grace.

I am

I am my Abba's daughter.
I am the girl He died to save.
I am the one whose hand He holds when I don't know the way.
I am the one who He loves.
I am the girl He sees and knows for who I am.
I am the girl He created and thought I was created wonderfully well.
I am the girl who sometimes leaves the trail, sometimes forgets the truth, sometimes stumbles and falls. I am the girl who can be oh so fearful and tremble when things are uncertain.
I am the girl who desires to really live a full and vibrant life with my Abba leading me in all things. I am the girl who tries and strives to do things on my own, finding out in the process that I was never meant to do this by myself. I am the girl who sees Him standing by my side holding out His hands ready to take all the many things that I am trying to do by myself in His hands. I am the girl who desperately wants to surrender all of those things over to God, but for some reason or another holds some of those in my hands. I am a girl who struggles with the whys and whens and what ifs. I am a girl who is confused as to what the future holds and is wondering.. ever wondering what in the world is happening when life turns upside down.

I am the girl who every morning kneels before her King, facedown on the ground, palms up, knowing that He is sovereign. He is in control. He is God. He is Lord. My life is in His hands. He is carrying me. It's not about me, it's about Him. I may not know the answers. I may not understand His ways, but I can believe His promises. I can believe His character. I do believe that He is good. I do believe that He is faithful. I do believe that He is sovereign, wise, and an all powerful God. His wisdom is infinite. His power is infinite. He is a God who sees. He is a God who is forever exalted. He is a God who IS. He is Abba.